Mental Health Awareness

I want to start off by saying thank you to all those that have reached out to share their personal stories and offer their help after I first shared my blog a few days ago. Working in the healthcare field myself, I have many friends who are experts in a variety of different specialties, so it's been great to hear their thoughts after reading about Emmett's story.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am by no means an expert on oral ties and all the symptoms that can be present with the condition. With that being said, I’m always open to and appreciative of input from those of you who may be more well versed in topics that I discuss in my throughout posts.

Last night, Emmett went to bed at his normal time. He ended up waking up for his first feed closer to 11:00pm, which is about an hour earlier than he has been waking up lately. I went downstairs to warm up a bottle for him and took him up to his nursery to feed him. After a diaper change about two-thirds of the way through his bottle, I began to finish feeding him the remaining ounce or so of formula. While the bottle was still in his mouth, he began to spit up what seemed like the entire feed through his nose and mouth and started choking on it.

Now I know that many times the volume of spit up seems to be much more than it actually is, but this episode of spit up ended with my shirt, Emmett's burp cloth, and the Boppy pillow pretty saturated.

My heart skipped a beat as I immediately turned Emmett to his side and started patting his back to help clear his airway. Rightfully so he started screaming in fear and discomfort. This kind of spit up episode has happened a few times before, but this one definitely seemed to be the worst so far.

I do want to say that these more extreme spit up episodes by no means happen with every feed. If I had to guess, they've been happening a few days apart over the last week. There are many times where Emmett will finish feeds without any spitting up at all, so it's definitely not an everyday occurrence.

Although these extreme episodes have only happened a total of maybe three times so far, with the episode last night being so severe, I felt that this symptom was becoming a safety concern.

Originally, the speech clinic that Emmett will be starting therapy with was hopeful to get him in this Friday for his evaluation, but due to their therapist recently being out of town, they called me yesterday to let me know the earliest they can get him in is July 19th. Due to my concerns for Emmett's safety and us not being able to get in for an evaluation for another week or so, I decided to share this experience with two of my peers who have offered their help since they happen to be Speech-Language Pathologists (SLP).

Yesterday, the chiropractor had explained to Brett and I, that typical babies should follow the schedule of eat, sleep, diaper change, repeat. I had already known this information and that many of Emmett's symptoms were not considered "normal", but what I didn't really think about is what she explained next. She said that the eat, sleep, diaper change, repeat behavior stems from the actions of a baby's parasympathetic nervous system.

The parasympathetic nervous system, also commonly know as "rest and digest" mode, helps regulate body functions realted to digestion, such as pooping and passing gas.

She continued by telling Brett and I that due to all the tension that Emmett was displaying, his body was rarely in parasympathetic mode, but rather was more frequently in sympathetic mode, commonly known as "fight or flight" mode.

The "fight or flight" mode is just as it sounds. It is a key mode for our body to undergo in a response to stressful situations.

When our body is activating the sympathetic nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system is shut down, explaining why Emmett has been struggling to pass gas and poop regularly. The reason why I’m explaining this to you is because throughout my research, I read an article that discussed "air trapping" as a symptom of oral ties. Due to ingesting large amounts of air with prolonged feeds, excess air begins to build up in the gastrointestinal tract, hints why when Emmett does pass gas his toots are LOUD and very forceful. The combination of this with the fact that Emmett's nervous system has been in primarily in "fight or flight" mode, explained why he gets so uncomfortable after feeds. His body simply was unable to pass excess built up gas and stool, causing his abdomen to become bloated and leading to increased discomfort. Due to the "trapped air" in Emmett's gastrointestinal tract, the increased pressure would push formula back up his esophagus leading to these forceful spit up episodes, or so I think. This would also explain why Emmett continues to have smaller spit ups during the two hours following the feed, as trapped air continues to periodically move upward instead of downward. The puzzle pieces continue to be put together as we unravel the root cause all of Emmett's symptoms.

After getting some input back from my SLP peers, I decided to call the speech clinic today to share what had happened and ask if there is any way for them to get Emmett in for an evaluation earlier as I was concerned for his safety. They spoke with the therapist that Emmett would be working with and gave me a quick call back asking if we can bring him in for his evaluation at noon today. Stay tuned, I will be sharing more on this after his evaluation today.

My point to sharing all of this with you is that watching Emmett experience severe events, such as the one described above, has definitely hightened my anxiety throughout this journey. Afterall, I am writing this blog post at 2:00am due to not being able to fall back asleep.

In an article that I read, it stated that mothers who have infants with oral tie complications are more likely to experience postpartum depression and anxiety.

Although I don't feel that my level of anxiety is out of control, it is important for those of you who are experiencing a similar journey to be aware of this fact, so you can proactively get help if you are exhibiting signs of postpartum depression and/or anxiety.

The other day, I told Brett that sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who knows how to take care of Emmett right now due to his condition. In the rare occurrence that I’m able to have a moment away from the chaos, I often find myself anxious to get back home to care for Emmett because I know his current behaviors are not normal baby behaviors. I by no means say this to offend those of you that have helped watch Emmett so I could get out of the house for a little while. I want you to know that I am so appreciative of you watching him for me as I've begun to feel stir crazy being couped up in the house day after day. However, I am with him pretty much 24/7, so it makes sense why I would know him best and feel this way. I also have anxiety around the fact that there is a possibility the procedure won't relieve Emmett of his misery. How will I ever be able to send him to daycare like this? Will I be able to function at work with getting very little sleep day in and day out? Am I still missing key signs that could point the underlying cause of his condition in a different direction?

Brett has been extremely supportive and helpful throughout this process so far, as he has taken on many additional housework duties as well as helped care for Emmett after a long day at work. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing spouse to work through this journey with and know that his support has been a vital component for protecting my mental health. Starting this blog has also helped encourage me to start processing my emotions about Emmett's story over the last two months, as I feel like I've had little time to do so due to feeling like we are constantly in survival mode.

As I dream about the days where Emmett is back to his normal self, making it easier to get him out of the house to explore the world, there is one more thing I would like to say. For those of you walking through a similar journey to ours, I am here for you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me with questions, for more information, or even just for support. I have had such an amazing support group throughout my son’s diagnosis and recovery process so far, which I believe is so important for a successful outcome for Emmett and the protection of my own mental health. This has definitely been one of the most difficult journeys in life so far and no one deserves to go through it alone!